I Am Now Afraid…

27 Jul

I have been planning to deal with John Elderidge and the wacky things he says in his Wild at Whatever books…(I know that its not emergent stuff but hey it would be fun) I was going to point out how the “El” version of manly Christianity excludes those of us who are just not manly enough or white enough or into Kayaking while belching and drinking non-alcoholic beer enough to enjoy the stuff he says in manly…I was going to point out how even though we don’t feel emasculated we must all be and we should immediately sell our houses, move to the country put up Karl Malone posters, shoot squirrels and hug other dudes way too much if we ever want to know Jesus. It seems that apparently the ultimate Jesus lover is a white dude on a horse who gives up church for a year. This makes me sad because I love church and I don’t have a horse.

Anyway I was going to expound on that but now that T. (I can call him that we are friends) responded to my post below I am afraid because I now realize that the “El” might see this. And I suspect he is not near as nice as T…the dude hangs out with James Dobson (the Dobber for freaking goodness sake) He and the Dobber might try and crush me. I suspect that rather than extending friendship the “El” might show up at my house on his big ole’ horse, perhaps with a sword, or with maybe a medieval spike flail. I can just picture him and James and a band of roving California home school parents descending upon my home and “rattling my cage” if you know what I mean. I am afraid the “El” will see my post and I will wake up with a horses head in my bed…Well not a horses head he loves horses, but maybe the head of some emasculated girly pony or something. So I will not post about the “El”, after all Superman wears John Elderidge pajamas.

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4 Responses to “I Am Now Afraid…”

  1. Amazed November 13, 2007 at 11:55 am #

    I was going to post that this is perhaps the most idiotic, shallow, poorly researched review I had ever read, then I recoiled in fear that you might reach over your stash of candy bars, spill your coffee on your keyboard, and hack into my computer, forcing me to read nothing but John MacArthur commentaries.

  2. poopemerges November 13, 2007 at 12:01 pm #

    But did you laugh? And it would be sad to have to read John MacArthur Commentaries, something I totally would not recommend…As a side note I wish I had a candy bar but as I am currently trying to cut calories I can’t. Darn you and your temptations…

  3. annie November 20, 2007 at 9:29 pm #

    “this makes me sad because i love church and i don’t have a horse”
    hah! that me laugh out loud.
    i found this post because i googled john eldridge. i’m reading the book “captivating” that he wrote with his wife, about a woman’s heart. although i do connect with some important things they’ve said so far, mostly i’ve been struck by the fact that i don’t really identify with any of the major “womanly” traits or dilemmas they mention. hrrrmm…
    sometimes when you’re reading a book you just have to remember: a person wrote this. not god. i think problems can arise when you find yourself thinking that a christian book is, by association, straight from the mouth of christ.
    as in, jesus demands i love lillies or KERBOOM!

  4. RAMAN November 29, 2007 at 11:55 am #

    Only one question. Are a memeber of ACLU by any chance? Oh and by the way if ever we had to come to shake your cage.. You will recognize me easily because I am not white.
    Thanks ,

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