Slice of Laodicea Officially Condemns God

22 Jan

In a move that several people said was a long time coming “Christian-ish” website “Slice of Laodicea”  has come out for the first time in Condemnation of God.  The move comes after mounting pressure from other mindless blog “ministries” to deal with all the senseless sex, violence and logic found in the Bible.  While dreaming up lies and half truths about Mark Driscoll and Rick Warren, Slice writer Ingrid found herself searching  in the Old Testament for proof texts and stumbled across Ezekiel 23:20 and the Song of Songs.  Shocked by what she read and sort of sickened by even the mention of a mans “naughty parts” Slice was forced to distance herself from God for not living up to her standards.   

Friend of Slice, SJ Camp, known online as Campi applauded the move, saying “If God can not figure out how to minister according to the standards that confused, unbiblical, moralistic, Christian culture has set for him,  then it is incumbent upon those of us who truly care about God’s integrity to stand up and call him out,  I mean who does he think he is?”

Said Ingrid in a blog post: “We can not have the world thinking that God even knows about sex,  I mean take Song of Songs,  the last thing we need is for young Married Christian men and women to read that and have wonderfully fulfilled sex lives!.”  She then implored no one to tell her husband, as his birthday is coming up and she did not want this to give him any sneaky ideas.

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13 Responses to “Slice of Laodicea Officially Condemns God”

  1. Brianmpei January 22, 2009 at 2:30 pm #

    If only…

  2. Seth McBee January 22, 2009 at 2:59 pm #

    Hilarious…and coming closer to being actually true…

  3. M January 22, 2009 at 3:55 pm #

    That’s hilarious and fantastic. You’re gonna get in trouble. This is troll bait.

  4. mikevandrie January 22, 2009 at 4:15 pm #

    That was funny!!! Now we wait for her or her trolls to come here crying.

  5. Heather Fischer January 23, 2009 at 3:08 pm #

    THAT is the funniest thing I have read in a really long time.

  6. a January 23, 2009 at 7:49 pm #

    this could only be improved by changing “naughty parts” to “naughty bits” like Bridget Jones.

  7. poopemerges January 24, 2009 at 12:45 am #

    I haven’t any idea what you are talking about as I do not watch “R” rated movies… 🙂 (or chick flicks)

    D

  8. Seth McBee January 24, 2009 at 1:06 pm #

    What’s a woman? What’s a movie?

    Are movies those things that the greatest man ever act in? Kirk Cameron? Those movies are so well done, the special effects and acting are above all else.

  9. Joel Shaffer January 25, 2009 at 10:25 pm #

    I was almost crying from laughing so hard….Wow!

  10. Hugh January 28, 2009 at 3:12 pm #

    Hey there! I wanted to get an email address from you to let you know about an upcoming project from The OOZE. We won’t share it, or spam you unmercifully. 🙂 If you could shoot me back an email, I would appreciate it! Thanks!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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  3. For those who wonder what this site is about… « Poop is emergent too - February 2, 2009

    […] https://poopemerges.wordpress.com/2009/01/22/slice-of-laodocia-officially-condemns-god/ […]

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